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THE LEGEND OF BAGELCLES
HOW THE BAGEL BECAME SANDWICH MATERIAL

Bagels weren’t always considered good bread for sandwiches. They were nice for snacks, great to spread cream cheese on, but that was about as far as it went. Putting lunch meat, cheese and lettuce on a bagel was culturally unacceptable. That type of heavy lifting was meant for other breads.

When Bagelcles was born, the baker’s oven was jealous. The baker had chosen to create a bread product in a pot, and during a steamy encounter boiling over with passion, Bagelcles was conceived.

The oven, in a fit of jealous rage, sent two heat lamps to destroy Bagelcles. However, even just born, Bagelcles was more than a match for the lamps. He grabbed a lamp in each hand and squeezed. The heat lamps overheated, enhancing Bagelcles strength, and then they were vanquished.

Bagelcles lived in the kitchen unaware of his true origins. As he aged, he realized that he was different from other bread products.

Hoagie rolls, baguettes, whole wheats, white, gluten-frees: all of these were chosen for grand pairings with ham, turkey, salami, cheddar, provolone, Gouda, tomato, lettuce, avocado. Bagelcles was passed over time and again for the sandwich honor.

Bagelcles went into the Dag Wood to consult the Oracle of Lunchtime. He asked the great Sandwitch what he needed to do to be worthy of the honor of satisfying the midday hunger. The Sandwitch set Bagelcles to accomplishing 10 impossible labors to prove his worth as a bread and as sandwich material.

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